Lost & Isolated

It’s not that I’m not spiritual, its that I don’t purposefully think about it on a regular basis. I wish I did. Maybe if I were around others who were, more often, I would. I remember when my friend Leah still lived here & how much my spiritual side was an active part of the rest of me. She had a metaphysical shop for a couple years where she had weekly ‘meeting’ nights. She also was a personal friend so we got to hang at her house anytime. I miss her.

When we did that move to Florida thing last year (2010) it was kinda nice to be near my other Pagan friend, Krista. She is very much into the whole witch thing. Was nice to be around her for that. There were a few others around down there as well ...

Now, back here, living alone with just my man, I feel kind of isolated from all of it. Sure, I can go online & connect with other like minded folks. But somehow that’s just not the same. We do have a pagan yahoo group for our area that I started years ago. But again, we’re spread out & not very active. Out of sight, out of mind it seems.

I miss my pagan connections. I miss paying closer attention to the calendar & all the little pagan holidays. Perhaps with this being the beginning of the new year on the pagan wheel, I can make a better attempt to get back to my spirit side …

Comparing milk

The other day I saw that Organic coconut milk was on sale at my local favorite grocer. Now, I already use organic rice milk in place of creamer in my coffee. I like it pretty well, even tho half & half is richer. But, this is much more cost effective. Anyway, I have always wanted to try coconut milk. I know its supposed to be good for you & a great alternative to cow milk. I bought one carton of regular & one unsweetened. Set them in the fridge to chill.

Once nice & cold, I poured a little of each for me & the man to try. Huh. Not bad. Not what we know as milk, but not bad. Maybe I could get used to this in my cereal, I thought. The man said it was okay. Not really sure what that meant, since he didn’t divulge more info.

This morning, I poured the regular version in my bowl of Kashi cereal. Umm. I don’t think I’ll do that again. Drinking it from a glass, in just a small quantity, was one thing. But it just was not the same & actually tasted kinda funny in my cereal.

I also tried the unsweetened version in my coffee. Now this was kinda nice. It’s thicker than the rice milk so it made the coffee seem a little richer. The flavor was the same. Not bad. I could see me using this in coffee on a regular basis. Well, maybe after I use up all the rice milk I’ve stockpiled! LOL After all, I can get the organic rice milk from my Costco for a decent price, by the case.

So I just thought I’d put this out there for others to compare. My new experience with Organic Coconut milk.

Making Life Yours

One of the Daily OM emails I get. I love these things!

Making Life Yours

There is no secret recipe for happiness and contentment. The individuals who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, love, success, and prosperity. Such people have, however, been blessed with the ability to take the circumstances they’ve been handed and make them into something great. Our individual realities are colored by perception—delight and despair come from within rather than without. Situations we regard as fortuitous please us while situations we judge inauspicious cause us no end of grief. Yet if we can look at all we have accomplished without dwelling on our perceived misfortune and make each new circumstance our own, the world as a whole becomes a brighter place. A simple shift in attitude can help us recognize and unearth the hidden potential for personal and outer world fulfillment in every event, every relationship, every duty, and every setback.

The universe is often an unpredictable and chaotic place, and the human tendency is to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself. But life can be no more or no less than what you make of it. If you are working in a job you dislike, you can concentrate on the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with gusto. What can you do with this job that can turn it around so you do love it. When faced with the prospect of undertaking a task you fear, you can view it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing. Similarly, unexpected events, when viewed as surprises, can add flavor to your existence. By choosing to love life no matter what crosses your path, you can create an atmosphere of jubilance that is wonderfully infectious. A change in perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you must be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must learn to observe life’s complexities through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must furthermore divest yourself of preconceived notions of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights concealed in each stage of your life’s journey. And you must strive to discover the dual joys of wanting what you have. As you gradually shift your perspective, your existence will be imbued with happiness and contentment that will remain with you forever.

***And to this, I don’t even know what to say. It is all so very true. I do my best, most of the time, to seek out the positive in life. Sometimes it is difficult. Other times, beyond easy.

Allowing the body to recharge

We had a great visit with hubby’s dad & step mom over the weekend. Sunday we ended up going on an awesome hike. It was also the day the hubby began to feel better from the crud stuff he had, & I began to feel the crud coming on. Lovely. So I spent the past few days doing not much of anything, knowing I was getting behind on everything. But when you have sinus pressure, can’t breathe all too well & feel drained, what else can you do?

I drank lots of herbal teas. I really loved the Traditional Medicinal’s Breathe Easy tea. Awesome flavor & it seemed to help. I also sucked on many Vitamin C chews I had picked up from the clearance bin at Wal-Mart not long ago. So combine all that with plenty of rest & working up a sweat on food bank day… & I finally feel almost all better. Still have a bit of the sniffles & a slight cough but otherwise feel very renewed.

Timing Can Be Everything

From my Daily Om emails ...

Where You Need to Be

Timing Can Be Everything

Since human timetables quite often do not correspond with universal timetables, it’s common for people to feel that life is progressing too slowly or too quickly. We draft carefully composed plans only to find that they fall into place when we least expect. Or, conversely, we are thrust into roles we believe we are not prepared for and wonder how we will survive the demands imposed upon us by unfamiliar circumstances. When delays in our progress kindle pangs of disappointment within us or the pace of life seems overwhelming, peace can be found in the simple fact that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment.

Every person fulfills their purpose when the time is right. If you have fast-tracked to success, you may become deeply frustrated if you discover you can no longer satisfy your desires as quickly as you might like. Yet the delays that disappoint you may be laying the foundation for future accomplishments that you have not yet conceived. Or the universe may have plans for you that differ from the worldly aspirations you have pursued up until this point. What you deem a postponement of progress may actually represent an auspicious opportunity to prepare for what is yet to come. If, however, you feel as though the universe is pushing you forward at too fast a clip, you may be unwittingly resisting your destiny. Your unease regarding the speed of your progress could be a sign that you need to cultivate awareness within yourself and learn to move with the flow of fate rather than against it. The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can res! t assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation.

You may feel compelled to judge your personal success using your age, your professional position, your level of education, or the accomplishments of your peers as a yardstick. Yet we all enjoy the major milestones in our lives at the appropriate time—some realize their dreams as youngsters while others flourish only in old age. If you take pride in your many accomplishments and make the most of every circumstance in which you find yourself, your time will come.

***Ugh! Can you relate? I sure can. I cant tell you how often I wonder why things are the way they are.  Why are things going so fast? Or so friggin slow? It’s frustrating to say the least.  Reading these words, helps to make you stop & think, even if just for a minute. It might not make you feel all better, but it sure helps to put things into perspective!

Staying True to Your Word

From my Daily Om emails …

Power in Honesty

Staying True to Your Word

Promises are easily made. Keeping them often proves more difficult because when we are pressured to strive always for perfection, we find it simpler to agree to undertake impossible tasks than to say no. Likewise, there is an infinite array of circumstances that conspire to goad us into telling falsehoods, even when we hold a great reverence for truth. When you endeavor to consistently keep your word, however, you protect your reputation and promote yourself as someone who can be trusted to be unfailingly truthful. Though your honesty may not always endear you to others—for there will always be those who fear the truth—you can nonetheless be certain that your integrity is never tarnished by the patina of deceit. Since frankness and sincerity form the basis of all life-enriching relationships, your word is one of your most precious and powerful possessions.

When we promise more than we can deliver, hide from the consequences of our actions through falsehoods, or deny our true selves to others, we hurt those who were counting on us by proving that their faith was wrongly given. We are also hurt by the lies we tell and the promises we break. Integrity is the foundation of civilization, allowing people to live, work, and play side by side without fear or apprehension. As you cultivate honesty within yourself, you will find that your honor and reliability put people at ease. Others will feel comfortable seeking out your friendship and collaborating with you on projects of great importance, certain that their positive expectations will be met. If you do catch yourself in a lie, ask yourself what you wanted to hide and why you felt you couldn’t be truthful. And if life’s surprises prevent you from keeping your word, simply admit your error apologetically and make amends quickly.

Since the path of truth frequently represents the more difficult journey, embarking upon it builds character. You can harness the power of your word when you do your best to live a life of honesty and understand what motivates dishonesty. In keeping your agreements and embodying sincerity, you prove that you are worthy of trust and perceive values as something to be incorporated into your daily existence.

*** Do you ever think about this? I do. Have I ever lied? Yes. Many times over my life. Sometimes it’s been teeny tiny ones, sometimes big. At the time, it feels like the right thing to do. And, I kind of have to say, that sometimes, its okay. Well, in my world anyway. Sometimes, if it will not hurt a person but actually spare them, & no harm is done, why not? It’s a big big thing to think about. And definitely something to consider as we go thru our days & interact with others. Don’t do it just because it’s the easy way out. That, will come back to bite you!

Get moving

There is a topic going on in the Zibbet Community talking about getting healthy. We all know how tough it is. I also know, doing it on your own can be even tougher. If you are anything like me, you read all kinds of stuff, from everywhere, about everything health related.

I try to eat right. Well, okay, I try to eat … better. I have my weaknesses. But, we all do. Whether or not we admit it, is another thing. For me, eating better seems to come in waves. There are times when it’s so easy to eat good & not snack on junk. Other times, it’s all I can do to not fill my day with junk. Part of this is the hormone fluctuation I still have on a monthly basis. The other part is just … lack of motivation. And I think a lot of that stems from the fact I’m home alone all day, every day. My day out is spent at the local food bank, volunteering. That day I do pretty good. I get exercise, I’m away from snacking & have something to occupy my mind.

The rest of the week, I’m home. I spend (admittedly) probably too much time in front of this computer. I have things I can do away from here, but again, it’s the motivation that hinders me.

Today hubby’s dad & step mom are in town for a short visit (from FL). We’ll be playing tour guide & generally visiting until Sunday night. This should help out in the snacking & eating dept. I hope. Well, maybe the snack part at least. We’ll see about the eating thing which will depend on where we eat while they are here.

So once they are on their way back home I will look into all of the eating better & exercising thing again. I will also be talking to our landlady (hopefully) about letting us have a dog. She should be alright with it since she said we could talk about it when we first moved in. We’ve proven to be good tenants over the past year so…

I really feel having a doggie again will help to motivate me to at least get out & walk more. So until then … keep thinking positive ….

Anything really worth doing in our lives will always have some fear attached to it.

From my Daily Om emails …

Honoring Life Changes

The Wisdom of Fear

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers—all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the new life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by journaling. Writing down whatever comes up—your worries, your sadness, your excitement, and your hopes—is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear & to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

*** You know, this is very true. Fear can be such a huge thing in our lives. I know several people who say they have nothing to fear but fear itself. I kinda think the same thing. I journal on my computer. I use Word & just make entries. I keep them private mostly, only sharing a few entries with anyone other than myself. Something to ponder as you go thru your Tuesday.

More on GMO

So, I mentioned I would find more info on the whole GMO thing as far as who uses them & who does not. Wow. What a list! You can download a guide here to help you when you are in the store.

Then check out this stuff for some eye opening info:

Current estimates of GMO products include the following:

    91% of soybeans grown in the United States are GMOs.

    88% of cotton is genetically modified.

    75% of corn has been genetically modified.

These items are often highly processed and added to many different convenience foods in forms like:

    Canola (rapeseed) oil

    Corn oil

    Cottonseed oil

    High fructose corn syrup

    Soybean oil

    Soy protein

Because of the prevalence of these ingredients in common foods, it is estimated that 70% or more of the convenience foods contain GMOs. Currently, the USDA does not require that GMOs be labeled. Unless you are buying 100% organic items, you may never know if your food contains GMOs.

Animal Products

GMOs are used in the feed of various animals and farm raised fish. Always try to choose grass fed or wild caught meat products, certified organic, or products that are labeled non-GMO.

    Meat

    Dairy

    Fish

    Eggs

High Risk Products

There are thousands of GMO ingredients. It takes longer to list which foods have GMOs than to list those that don't. This should be considered an abbreviated list.

    Aspartame

    Baking powder

    Canola oil

    Cornmeal

    Corn oil

    Corn starch

    Corn syrup

    Cottonseed oil

    Dextrose

    Fructose

    Glucose

    Isoflavone

    Lecithin

    MSG

    Soy meal

    Soy protein isolate

    Tempeh

    Tofu

    Vegetable oil

    Vitamin B-12

    Vitamin E

    Xanthan gum

Companies That Use GMO Ingredients

Knowing which companies use GMO ingredients can help you to stay away from them. Even some "natural foods" companies make foods with genetically modified ingredients. Not surprisingly, most of the large corporations routinely use these products. Since these corporations often buy up smaller companies, you may not always recognize them. Some of the many companies that use GMOs in their products are:

    Aunt Jamima

    Beech-nut

    Betty Crocker

    Blue Sky

    Boca

    Campbells

    Coca Cola

    Crisco

    Dannon

    Duncan Hines

    Eggo

    Enfamil

    Frito Lay

    Good Start

    Hansen

    Heinz

    Hershey

    Hormel

    Hostess

    Isomil

    Keebler

    Kellogg

    Kraft

    Land o Lakes

    Libby’s

    Lifesavers

    Marie Callender

    Morning Star Farms

    Nabisco

    Nature Valley

    Nestle

    Ocean Spray

    Pepperidge Farm

    Peter Pan

    Pillsbury

    Procter and Gamble

    Progresso

    Quaker

    Similac

    Skippy

    Smuckers

    Stouffers

    Yoplait

And on the brighter side, here’s at least partial list of companies who do use GMO free ingredients (edited & alphabetized from online)…

    Amy’s Kitchen: canned soups, chilies, boxed & frozen meals.

    Annie’s Naturals: BBQ sauce, salad dressings & other condiments 

    Arrowhead Mills: baking mixes & flours found in both natural health food stores & regular supermarkets.

    Barbara’s Bakery: cookies 

    Bearitos: snack foods & dips

    Bob’s Red Mill: baking mixes and specialty flours.

    Cascadian Farms: frozen entrees, fruits & veggies, juices, yogurt, cereal, granola bars & other foods.

    Chaffin FamilyOrchards: sells an assortment of goods including olive oil.

    Clif: energy bars 

    Cultures forHealth: All starters and products sold at Cultures for Health are GMO-free.

    Earth’s Best: Baby food manufacturer uses non-GMO ingredients.

    Eden Foods: canned goods, noodles, tamari, miso, vinegar & Asian foodstuffs.

    Fantastic Foods: hummus, falafel, risotto couscous, soup & other mixes

    French MeadowBakery: bread & baked goods 

    Garden of Eatin: chips, salsas & other snack foods.

    Genisoy: Uses only certified GMO-free soybeans for their many soy products.

    Grindstone Bakery: wheat- and gluten-free bread.

    Healthy Times: Baby food manufacturer uses non-gmo ingredients.

    Imagine Foods: soy and rice milk as well as broth and other foods.

    Kettle Chips: potato and tortilla chips.

    Lundberg FamilyFarms: rice & wild rice foods including raw rice, soups & convenience foods.

    Muir Glen: canned goods & vegetable juices & other foods.

    Natural ChoiceFoods:  frozen dessert products.

    Nature’s Path: cereals & snack bars 

    Pamela’s Products: gluten-free baking mixes sources non-GMO ingredients.

    Pure Indian Foods: grass-fed ghee.

    Purity Foods: spelt-based noodles, snacks & other goodies. 

    Que Pasa: tortilla chips & other Mexican foods  

    Rapunzel: chocolate company.  They also sell specialty oils.

    Spectrum Oils: specialty oils, cooking oils, salad oils & natural shortening.

    San J: soy sauce, shoyu and tamari.

    Thai Kitchen: coconut milks & Asian ingredients.

    To Your Health: sprouted breads & sprouted flours.

    Tradition Miso: miso pastes 

    US Wellness Meats: pasture- and grass-fed meats free of GMO supplemental feed.

    Vitasoy: soy-based foods 

    Walkers: shortbread cookies & other sweet treats.

    White Wave: soy products including tofu & tempeh

    Whole Foods StoreBrands: Whole foods has made the commitment to sourcing its ingredients from GMO-free sources.

    Wisconsin HealthyGrown Potatoes: potatoes.

    Zukay: live cultured condiments & salsa

Marriage

Today … I give you something to read & truly ponder. Life can be taken from us at any time. I know I value my marriage. I love my husband with all my heart & soul. I know we both strive to not take each other for granted, ever. I know that we are connected not just physically, but spiritually …

I know it is a bit lengthy, but please, read … to the end.

MARRIAGE

2005

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

2006

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

2007

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

2008

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

2009

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

GMO's

I was really at a loss as to what to write about today. I had several ideas, but just didn’t feel like going into any of them! My funk has spread beyond just my creativity.

So I got to looking at this …

apparently the pic is gone & I dont recall what it was.

Learning more about GMO’s is on my list all the time. I don’t like what I read. It scares me. I really don’t want people messing with my food just to make it more resistant to pests or something. Leave it alone. I grew my garden this year without any help from pesticides or un-natural things. I used natural things to fertilize. I used organic seeds or plant starts. Everything grew fine when it was given the right growing conditions. Now, I understand in some areas there are more bugs, or whatever… but everything has built up a resistance… because we keep using all this poisonous crap.

When I shop, I try to buy organic as much as I can. The GMO issue is among the reasons for this. Knowing what is likely to be GMO & what isn’t, helps me to see what I need to buy organic & what I can get conventional if need be.

One of the things mentioned is soy. I don’t like it to begin with because of things I’ve read in the past, but if I buy it or see it as an ingredient in something, it will be organic.

There is a list out there that tells you what ingredients & companies you can trust to use non GMO stuff. I’ll have to find it. For today, take a look at this picture, & give some thought to what you eat ….

Ah, a full moon again …

It seems all too often that time just whizzes by without knowing just how fast its going. Wasn’t it just Spring? Summer? And now here we are almost a month into Autumn already. I’ve noticed that this year, for unknown reasons really, I’ve spent more time inside than out. I’ve spent time in front of this computer … doing countless things. I’ve spent time escaping life by playing games. I’ve spent time trying to see what everyone else is doing & sharing my own things, on Facebook. I’ve spent time trying to work on my business, both online & just on the computer. 

Hubby & I have spent time trying to adjust to a new way of life this past year too. We’re back to being alone. In Florida, we were with the kids in our home. One left for the military. One stayed behind when we decided to move to Washington. We spent less than 2 years alone, but we had a dog. Then my military daughter moved in with us. Then her boyfriend moved in. Full house again. Then we did a move back to FL thing, & back to WA, within 6 months. The kids moved into their own place. While we were in FL, we were with hubby’s mom. Now, back here, we are alone. Just us. No kids. No dog. 

While we have both grown & changed over the past years, it still takes some adjusting to being just us. I’ve watched time slip by. Sometimes I feel like I’m just watching & not really participating in my life. Sometimes it feels like my Spirit is forgotten in the grind of daily life.

I want so desperately to rekindle it. I just somehow feel like something is missing.

I’m not sure what it is exactly. I’m going to work on finding it. Am I alone in how I feel?

Life without… as many processed foods

Earlier this year I kind of did a few posts about what it’s like to live without some basic things I used to take for granted. Off theshelf soda, store bought rolls, a microwave…

Another thing we (hubby & I) have been living without is an over-abundance of processed foods & ready-made stuff. You know... things like Hamburger (or any of the others) Helper, frozen meals, frozen hash browns, snack cakes, etc.

Not all that many years ago, we used to buy Hamburger Helper on a regular basis. It was cheap & made a decent tasting meal for two. It was among the first things to go when we began reading labels. Wow, what a list that crap had! Several varieties even had the dreaded HFCS, although I have no idea why. All of them have MSG. And lots of other questionable ingredients.

homemade Sweet & Sour shrimp dish

It’s actually been kinda fun making our own homemade versions. And for the amounts you get, it really is cheaper this way. One of the best things was learning that I could make my own sweet & sour sauce! Yes! For real! And, it tastes way better than anything out of a store bottle or jar or packet.

Oh, another BIG thing we used to buy was frozen hash brown potatoes. Or frozen O’Brian potatoes. Another thing that changed when we looked at the label. All that stuff, just to make it last on the shelf.

So, one weekend morning, we took a couple real potatoes & shredded them. Put a little oil in the pan, added the potatoes, a little no salt seasoning & paprika, plop the lid on & cook. Amazing. All it took was once. We have never bought frozen potatoes again. 

Another fun thing we tried (& I need to try a few more recipes for) was from scratch cinnamon rolls. They didn’t come out prefect, but we knew (& could pronounce) what every ingredient in them was!

I just wanted you to see that its not incredibly hard to eat better… It’s fun & pretty easy.

Feeling new life by taking life ...

I’ve been busy the past couple days & I’m kinda at a loss for what to write about for today. I think this short bit about time in the yard will do nicely tho…

We (my hubby & I) did a bit more yard work Saturday afternoon. Even tho we were taking down trees, it felt rewarding. The area of the yard we’re working on has been neglected for years by previous tenants. We’re now trying to fix that by bringing some life back to the hillside. It has overgrown & gotten full of weedy tree saplings. There are several juniper bushes that I imagine used to look beautiful. Now, they are more than half dead from bad cutting, lack of light & water & neglect. It’s like that with everything back there. It feels choked when you stand before the hillside.
Yesterday, when we took down another couple of the trees, I felt life come back. I felt less of that choking feeling. I felt like even tho we took the lives of those trees, the hillside said thank you.
I watched a robin dance from tree branch to tree branch as we clipped away the weedy ones. Even the robin seemed happy with our efforts.

All I know, is that it felt good to be outside. I felt like a small part of me was reconnecting with the Earth.

Making growing containers

So anyways, I mentioned recently I would share how we made the cool container for gardening. I first saw this on the wonderful Instructableswebsite a couple years ago. Showed it to my hubby & we agreed it would be a fun idea to try. It was fairly simple, & up here in Washington, it worked great. I mention that because the first try was when we were in Florida for a summer. It didn’t work out so well down there. Didn’t really explore the reasons why very much since we knew we’d be back here.

this is how it will all fit together

Obviously, to make this easy, I’m sharing a lot of pictures. You can see that we built a matching set. We got 2 deep totes (w/lids, needed, but I left em outa the pictures), 2 shallow totes, 2 pond plant baskets, 4 small metal rods (not pictured, oops) & a length of PVC pipe to be cut to size. Then all you need is something to cut holes in the lids & bottoms. It’s pretty easy to see how it goes together looking at the pictures.

The small hole about half way down on the one end is the drain hole. It should be located just as where the bottom of the shallow tote sits when nestled together. This is located on the same end as the PVC fill pipe. The fill pipe has a slanted bottom so it fills without backing up. The height is up to you really, as long as it comes thru the lid. We opted for 5 holes in each lid. You can do less if you like depending on what you plan to plant.

PVC pipe hole & basket cutout

To write out all the directions would make this so long. If the pictures don’t explain enough, feel free to email me (HerbsnChocolate@Gmail.com) & I’ll happily explain any part!

drain/overflow hole

Once you have all the cuts made & everything assembled, you want to fill the basket with dirt. Then keep filling until you are just below the top. Be sure you have the fill pipe in place!!! Now the website I got this from had several people saying to use only a specific blend of soil. I kinda followed that the first time, in FL. We did not have wonderful results. Up here in WA I used just good store bought soil along with some soil amendment mix stuff. It worked great. I think the key is keeping it watered, and sunlight!

So if you try this, I’d love to know what your results are like … Ours were great this year & we plan to use both containers next year along with maybe one or two more! 

 Basket in place, PVC fill pipe in place.

Rods get pushed thru the basket holes so the baskets stay in place better. Lip of the basket is on the inside, rest of basket & rods, underneath. Only cut the square big enough for the basket to fit thru, not the lip of the basket.

Hole drilled in lid for PVC pipe. Holes drilled for plants to grow thru. I dont suggest more than 5 unless you are growing something that is really small/compact, or trails off onto the ground.

with the lid on, we made indents to match the holes. take lid off, plant plants. carefully put lid back on, pulling plants thru holes as needed.

this was the FL planting. a varied crop.

The planted version, in Florida 2010. You can see the WA 2011 version  in the last post.

Changing Beliefs

Working to revive my Spirit ...

While I debated what to write about first, I skimmed thru some of the Pagan Blog Prompts. My daughter maintains this blog, full of thought provoking thoughts & ideas to get you to write. I’m choosing to answer one from awhile back today.

"Do your beliefs change over the years as you change and develop?"

This one kind of speaks to me. Yes, my beliefs have changed, some, over the years. I began my journey down this wondrous path with Wiccan beliefs. It was what I first was exposed to. It was what I first learned. I knew almost from the beginning that I would always be Pagan, but not always Wiccan. I did not feel all the beliefs associated with this “branch” of Paganism were right for me.

As I began to read more & more, I found that unlike most other religions, Paganism pretty much says its alright to take only what you truly connect with & what resonates with you personally. It’s okay to leave the rest. There is even a name for this … eclectic. That, is very much me.

I also feel that I am still changing. Will I always keep the beliefs I have right now? I can’t completely answer that. Right now, my beliefs are planted within my heart. As I continue to read more, learn more & experience more, there is a possibility they will change. Or not. Only time will tell. One thing I do know … is I will always call my self Pagan. And spiritual. And … a child of the Goddess.

Talking about gardening ...

Today I want to talk about our garden. Well, what there was of it anyway. We began with the best of intentions, with the limited knowledge & money that we had. We figured planting in the ground, along our fence would be a great start & easy to keep up with since everything would be easily accessible. We waited until frost had passed & began to put organic & heirloom plants in the ground. Before the plants came lots of tilling by hand & a few added bags of help.Thru the whole season, we used only natural & organic things to help our efforts. No chemicals!<!-- more -->

We were excited. Took pictures of everything all newly planted & waited. And waited. Even with proper watering & fertilizing, things were beyond slow to grow. Come to find out later on, we were not the only ones having a lack of growth. The cooler spring weather made the Earth warm much slower. And even tho air temps were fine, ground temps were less than ideal for growth. Eventually, we did get growth for at least the tomato plants. All the peppers, carrots, radishes, lettuce & chives died. Go figure. 

So we learned that growing in either raised beds or containers would be the way to go. Not only could we ensure more sun for the plants in containers, but their root systems would get more warmth for sure! Along the edge of our patio area, we placed a couple of containers. In one we put 4 rescued, clearance priced tomato plants. In the other we put 5 clearance priced pepper plants. What’s the worst that could happen? We get green but no fruit? Well, far from it! Both containers have shown awesome growth & lots of fruit!

Our ground tomatoes did provide a decent harvest as well, just not nearly what could have been. We’re already so excited about next season, when we’ll have multiple containers along the patio edge.

The one thing that seemed to do fin in the ground was all the herbs we planted. And since they are all perennial, they will stay & hopefully come back next year even bigger. I’m looking at snipping a bunch here shortly to dry.

I think I’ll share how we made the Rubbermaid container for the peppers. All the images today are of the awesome progress of the container plants. Look for that one the 8^th!

Tea Bags - what to do with used ones ...

So I was making more iced tea today & left the 2 large tea bags in the sink, to dry. I've been saving the tea bags... because not too long ago I had seen something online about what they are good for, after being used. Well of course hubby asked & I had no answer! I told him I'd have to go look for that link & tell him later. Now, normally me looking for a link I've saved is a huge undertaking since I'm so bad about organizing my saved links (but thats another story). Today, I found it pretty easy! I was happy.

So here is the link... 25 ways re-use tea bags

All of the ideas they give are pretty cool. Some of my favorites are ...

• If you have a bruise, sunburn, bee sting, mosquito bite, or cold sore put a cool, damp tea bag on the affected area and use like a compress. The tea will bring comforting relief, reduce inflammation, and promote healing. 
• Warm or cold, tea bags help revitalize tired, achy, or puffy eyes. So lie back with brewed, refrigerated tea bags over your eyes and the tannins in the tealeaves will stimulate blood circulation and diminish the bags and dark circles under your eyes.  
• Rinse your hands with water and a brewed tea bag to remove food odors, especially onions and fish. 
• Warm up a brewed tea bag, take the leaves out of it, roll them in a scrap of fabric, and use as a compress for a painful toothache, canker sore, or fat lip.
• Cook an incredibly moist turkey by adding a brewed tea bag and a cup of water to the pan. The tannin in the tea is a natural meat tenderizer and adds a unique, delicious flavor. 
• You don't have to buy a box of baking soda just to get rid of the odors in your fridge. A brewed tea bag will do the same thing and can easily be replaced.  
• Deodorize stuffy rooms by pouring one quart twice-brewed tea and four tablespoons lemon juice or your favorite essential oil in a spray bottle. 
• If you're a smoker or have an ashtray out for guests, put a wet tea bag or the leaves from a wet tea bag into the ashtray. When you or your guests ash in the tray, the wet leaves will hold the ash and absorb some of the smell from the smoke.  
• The antibacterial contents of tea bags will help neutralize the odor in your litter box, as well. Just sprinkle the dried out contents of a brewed tea bag into the kitty litter. 
• Wipe cast-iron pots and pans with a brewed tea bag to remove and prevent rust.  
• Make your mirrors sparkle and shine by using cooled, twice-brewed tea as a cleaner. Just dip a soft cloth in the tea and use it to wipe away dirt and grime, and then buff dry. 
• Tear open a brewed tea bag and work the contents into the dirt of acid-loving plants like ferns and roses. The tannic acid and other nutrients will be released when you water the plants, spurring their growth. If these plants are ailing, watering them with cooled, twice-brewed tea will set them on the path to recovery!  
• And for healthier potted plants, place a few brewed tea bags over the drainage hole at the bottom of the planter before potting. The tea bags will retain water and leach nutrients to the soil. 
• Speed the decomposition process and enrich your compost pile by pouring a few cups of strong, twice-brewed tea into the heap. The liquid tea will hasten decomposition and draw acid-producing bacteria that will create acid-rich compost. Oh, and you can compost any of the used tea bags you can't find use for, as long as you remove the staples first.  

So there ya go! Not bad huh? There are a few ideas that I'd like more info on so I'll have to do a bit of research on them. I'd love to hear if anyone has other ideas for used tea bags.

Normally we drink herbal tea made into iced tea. And that is mostly loose leaf. But over the winter we just got a taste for plain old black tea. I don't make my iced tea with any sugar anymore. Occasionally I will brew it with about a teaspoon of Stevia leaf, but most of the time its straight & unsweetened. Amazing what you develop a taste for!

I see that the site mentioned above has a Facebook page too. I'm thinking between the site & FB page, I'll be doing a bit more reading!!

Life Without ... soda

Wow... soda... I am not ready to let go of this treat from my life completely, yet. Awhile back I did a post about Mountain Dew Throwback. I have not had any, probably since I wrote that. Well, maybe one or two since its been a year. But still, after one, I feel like crap inside. My body definitely lets me know nowadays when it doesn't like what I'm giving it.


I still drink soda. Almost everyday. Never more than approximately 12 ounces. But, I drink it.

My soda of choice these days is mostly Blue Sky. And of the ones they offer that we can find here, the Jamaican Ginger Ale is my favorite. Mostly that is because my body tolerates it just fine.
Room temperature... and sometimes even flat! Mostly the flat part is because it takes me awhile to drink it. 

I loved Natural Brew Outrageous Ginger Ale, but my body didn't like as much as I did, so I switched. I also tried Hansens, but they only offered the ginger ale in diet. Yuck. I gave up diet sodas a long long time ago!

I remember when I used to drink 2 or 3 regular sodas a day & thought nothing of it. All that HFCS in my system & no clue. I now know soda is not really good for me at all. Not even this stuff. There is tons of info out there on the why's. Why not to drink it. How bad it is. How bad the containers even are. So why can't I let go?

I'll tell you why. I love the fizz. Yup, the carbonation. Sometimes I can go days without one. Even weeks. But then I get this ... need for the taste of the sweetness & the fizz. Just one can. Or one bottle.

As I continue to learn more about commercial sodas, I kind of want them less but I still want the fizz. Perhaps, just as people who love beer, & wine, learn to make their own, I too can learn to make my own ... soda?

Are you like me? Do you love soda even tho you know how bad it is? Have you given up soda? How do you cope? I'd love to hear from you....

Life without ... store bought rolls & biscuits

Today I want to talk about making your own biscuits. And I don't mean anything fancy. I'm talking simple drop biscuits.

Before the label reading began, I used to buy all kinds of rolls & biscuits from the stores. Pillsbury & store brands could almost always be found in our fridge. Another thing we always had in house was Bisquick. So between those tubes & that box, we always had the ability to have some bread with dinner, handy. how could one ever give that up? Easy....

First to go were those tubes of rolls. While not that expensive really, they had extra ingredients in them that we didn't need. I moved first to using the fresh baked rolls from Costco & drop biscuits with Bisquick. Then I left the rolls behind altogether for just the biscuits. Then I left Bisquick behind.

So what do I do now? I use a simple recipe from my old trusty cook book. Very simple drop biscuits that taste better than any roll from a tube or store & even better than the ones made with Bisquick.

Here is the recipe I use now:

Baking Powder Biscuits (drop biscuit variation used)
1/2 cup shortening
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup milk
For drop biscuits increase milk to 1 cup

heat oven to 450
cut butter into flour, sugar, baking powder & salt in medium bowl, using a pastry blender (my fav) or criss-crossing knives until mixture looks like fine crumbs.
Stir in milk until dough leaves sides of bowl. (next was the actual biscuit rolling out stuff)
Drop dough by 12 spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet.
Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown.
Remove immediately from baking sheet.

Now ... I have a non stick sheet & I have not used anything on it & they come off fine. I also use real butter (organic if I have it), non aluminum baking powder, sea salt, organic sugar & organic milk.

They come out so light, & so good....

... that I have no real reason to ever buy them from a store again or waste my money with a box of Bisquick. I now know exactly what is in my food. It doesn't take long when you have a decent pastry cutter & the taste is so worth it!!!

I must note that with the Bisquick I used to make cheesy garlic drop biscuits which were heavenly. I have not yet made those without the Bisquick. I will find a good recipe tho, & try them soon. For now, hubby & I are enjoying the taste of these.

one year later

This post was from my personal blog when I had them separated...
I noticed yesterday that it has been one whole year since I put anything in here. a whole year. Wow. And so much has changed in this last year. We moved to Florida in March. We moved back in August. Hubby worked from September to December 3rd. And he''s been laid off since. While we were in Florida my spiritual side seemed to almost vanish. I spent more time being sad, lonely & depressed than I did enjoying being near family & friends. I learned there are fewer real friends than I thought. I learned you can't ever really go home. I learned you can't step back into a world you left because time changes you.

The spiritual side of me seriously went dormant while we were away form here. Is it back? Not quite to my liking yet, but I can say I feel so much better, even with the current circumstances, being back up here. That has to mean something.

So one of the main reasons we went was to be there for my husbands father. He has made pretty much a total recovery. My mom is doing alright, but she put things in a way that made me love her even more. When we told everyone we were leaving & coming back here my mom was sad. But she understood because we told her how miserable we were, trying to live there. She told me how she wished all her family could be right there but she knows we all have to live our lives. I love her for that.

In my last post I talked about how this Valley seems to be a stopover for many. I know now that our time here was not finished. I'm not sure what exactly we have to do here, but I vow to try & enjoy every minute of it. I have noticed that since we've been back, I have felt a pull to be more ... in tune with Nature & learn more. Now I just need to find the discipline to accomplish that.

I also mentioned that I saw us not staying in Florida forever. Seems that was true, & even much shorter than I thought. Do I still see us going to the southwest? I'm not sure. I have been so wrapped up in being back 'here' I have not given it much thought.

I also said I had made peace with moving. I think I lied. I tried to convince myself that I had made peace with it. I tried to convince everyone else too, that it was what we needed to do. We did it & we can't undo it. All we can do now is learn from it.

I hope this year brings lots of learning for me.

Life without ... a microwave

I've not had a microwave now since mid October of last year. Amid the downsizing we did last year one of the many things that went was our microwave. I just figured once we were settled, we'd look at getting a new one.

Our kitchen here is rather small with limited counter space. I looked around for a small microwave for awhile. But the money we had was going quick & I could not decide on whether to spend the money or not, so I didn't. The more I thought about it & the more I talked with my hubby, the more we decided that we really could do without one.

I have heard & read about micro waves & what they can do. They are not exactly good for us to be exposed to. They cant be all that good for the food either. Besides, we lived without them before...

So here we are, living happily without one. People wonder how do we heat up leftovers? Well, either in a skillet or in the oven. Simple. And I have to say, everything tastes so much better than when it was just reheated in the microwave. And once you get used to it, it really doesn't take that long. What about popcorn? We bought a hot air popper. I love the taste. Melt a little butter to drizzle over it with some sea salt & you have a fabulous dessert or snack. Yes, real butter. And salt. It's all about moderation!

I used to eat Kashi frozen meals for lunches. Well, without a microwave, that would take forever to heat in the oven so ... I just don't eat that anymore. And I don't buy things anymore that are meant to be heated in the microwave. Simple as that.

Now, there have been a few occasions where we have said it would have been nice to have one. I heat water in a kettle on the stove for hot drinks. We don't have leftover coffee to reheat so that is a none issue. If there was any left, I would just turn the coffee maker back on & let it reheat that way. Or, I could put it in a pot on the stove & heat it. I know, coffee connoisseurs are gagging at those thoughts. But I'm not one of them. Mostly we just don't have coffee left over!

There ya go .. you can live life without a microwave. And you can enjoy it! Honestly. In certain aspects of daily life you have to make adjustments for this. But, it's not a big deal. It all comes down to a choice we make. Will we ever have one again? Maybe. But I honestly think all it would get used for is a clock, maybe a timer & to have a way to heat up heat packs.

Can you live without one?