one year later

This post was from my personal blog when I had them separated...
I noticed yesterday that it has been one whole year since I put anything in here. a whole year. Wow. And so much has changed in this last year. We moved to Florida in March. We moved back in August. Hubby worked from September to December 3rd. And he''s been laid off since. While we were in Florida my spiritual side seemed to almost vanish. I spent more time being sad, lonely & depressed than I did enjoying being near family & friends. I learned there are fewer real friends than I thought. I learned you can't ever really go home. I learned you can't step back into a world you left because time changes you.

The spiritual side of me seriously went dormant while we were away form here. Is it back? Not quite to my liking yet, but I can say I feel so much better, even with the current circumstances, being back up here. That has to mean something.

So one of the main reasons we went was to be there for my husbands father. He has made pretty much a total recovery. My mom is doing alright, but she put things in a way that made me love her even more. When we told everyone we were leaving & coming back here my mom was sad. But she understood because we told her how miserable we were, trying to live there. She told me how she wished all her family could be right there but she knows we all have to live our lives. I love her for that.

In my last post I talked about how this Valley seems to be a stopover for many. I know now that our time here was not finished. I'm not sure what exactly we have to do here, but I vow to try & enjoy every minute of it. I have noticed that since we've been back, I have felt a pull to be more ... in tune with Nature & learn more. Now I just need to find the discipline to accomplish that.

I also mentioned that I saw us not staying in Florida forever. Seems that was true, & even much shorter than I thought. Do I still see us going to the southwest? I'm not sure. I have been so wrapped up in being back 'here' I have not given it much thought.

I also said I had made peace with moving. I think I lied. I tried to convince myself that I had made peace with it. I tried to convince everyone else too, that it was what we needed to do. We did it & we can't undo it. All we can do now is learn from it.

I hope this year brings lots of learning for me.