random update

 Since the last real (personal)entry, we’ve gone down to visit Dad & Neva. It was a nice visit. We had not gone down there since they moved so it was cool to see their new home & a bit of the area. They have a nice house, newer than the one they had here & it seems to fit them. Dad took us to an area winery that he & Neva enjoy going to. We had lunch there in a beautiful setting. The food & wine were both good too. I look forward to going back in warmer weather when they have the courtyard open & fountains running. That part looked so peaceful. The roads around there tho are insane to a newcomer. We were so lost trying to go somewhere on our own. In all, it was a nice visit.

I keep thinking about the gym. I think I’m about ready to just go. I hope they have some sort of help to get you going & set up on a routine of sorts, or something. It would suck if we had to pay extra for that. Guess I got spoiled with the last place. We’ll see where it goes. I’ve thought a bit more on who to ask to come with me since the daughter is working nights & doesn’t really have the time to go with me. It may take more thought than I first thought. LOL

My life is pretty boring these days. I keep the house clean, food cooked, laundry done, etc. Other than that, I’m not doing much. I am working on getting coupons organized to better share with people. Exciting huh? I watch my soaps, look for work, surf the internet. I need some more human interaction. But I don’t wanna be around depressing people. I certainly don’t need that.

Now that I’ve gotten a handle on our changing food & the coupons, & the group, I need to get our taxes done. More exciting stuff. Not. I guess the biggest reason I’m not looking forward to it is the fact I did not keep the most organized records for the bit of business I had. So I have to gather all that before I get started. The basic stuff is easy, that one form is the booger. Then I also have to see about the daughter. Since she lives with us, is a full time student & all that, we may be able to claim her one last time.

I got to talk to my boyfriend down in FL night before last. It was so nice. We chatted for about an hour. He had just gotten out of the hospital, again. 2 weeks this time. They found a spot & he wasn’t taking any chances so he told them to take it out. Now, there is nothing left in him that even remotely looks like it could develop into another spot. Cancer sucks ass. He sounded more like himself while we talked. When we visited in November, it felt like that might have been our last time ever seeing each other. I know we all cried afterward. I love that guy so much, it would tear my heart apart to lose him to such an ugly disease. I have kept him in my good thoughts for years now. I hope that someone has heard me.

thoughts on the whole father thing

I have tons running thru my mind right now, as always. I just wanna jot down some thoughts so I can maybe let them out of my head. It’s about my father. The man we moved out here to be closer to & to get to know. Yes, we also love this Valley, but face it, without him here, we’d never have found Wenatchee, much less moved here.

When I first found him & we began talking, I asked lots of questions. He told me I could ask anything I wanted & he would do his best to answer. He felt he owed me that much. One of the things I asked, was why he didn’t look for me. One of the answers I got was that he figured when I turned 18, I’d maybe look for him on my own. That’s what he’d hoped for. The part that sticks with me tho, that I cant get out of my head right now, is that he said “I didn’t want to interrupt your life”.

Fast forward to us being here, in the same city & state as him, his life, & his family. We’ve now been here just under 3 years. Yes, we have worked on building our own lives, apart from him, but he has been a part of life here too. Obviously. Last year, he announced he wanted to move. He was selling the café he owned, selling the house & moving. He decided on the Tri City area. I say he & not they because his wife didn’t really want to move to begin with, even tho her family is down in that area. She liked it here just fine. He said he needed a change of pace & scenery. He told us that we could move too. Sure, lets just totally uproot us again after finally getting Tim into a decent job, making new friends … sure. I think not. Tim so totally agreed. We have both been kind of floored at this whole thing.

Now he never asked us to move out here, flat out. His wife would ask when we were gonna move out here, some of the family did as well. Perhaps in a joking manner. Perhaps not. The family was thrilled that I found them, & they all have welcomed the forgotten child with open arms. He was amazed that I wanted to be a part of his life so much that I would uproot us & make that big of a move. He was thrilled to have us here. To have his “long lost daughter” so close. I wonder tho, if the newness of that wore off.

Since we’ve been here, the feeling of being welcome has not been what we expected. Then again, I don’t know exactly what I, or Tim expected. I think one thing we thought was that he’d make more of an effort to get to know me, be around me & such. Maybe even do something to help us out. I recall him mentioning once that he wished there was something he could do to make up for missing out on my life. Yet in his life now, he didn’t make much effort in that direction.

When they still had their cat, & went out of town, usually to the Tri Cities, we knew what was going on. Why? Because they would ask us to feed the cat. There were no personal invites to come with them. Since I took the cat & had it put down for them, allot of times they went out, we didn’t even know. If they’d be gone more than 2 days or so, we’d know because he would ask me to bring in the paper & mail. Amusing to look back on now.

They sold the café earlier this year. The house sold recently. They went down to the Tri Cities in search of a new home & found that with no problems. They moved last weekend.

I think I mentioned before about all the things that they gave away & sold. I mentioned how his daughter was only an after thought with small misc. things. He gave us stuff we could have a yard sale with. His words. I was kind of hurt. I sometimes wonder just how much of a tightwad he is. His wife has told me that many times about him. And she doesn’t understand it either. They know we struggle to keep ends together but he wont lend a helping hand in any way. Not in finding a job prospect, not in a money way, nothing.

When I learned more about the money side of all his selling & buying I was even more floored. Look out for him & that’s that. Maybe it’s how he was raised. That’s my guess. Being a parent myself, if I came into money & could help my children, I would be. But, that’s me.

I already feel a bit better just typing this all out. It doesn’t change how I feel or make anything better. But it’s out of my head, & somewhere that I can look back on it. Now I can move on to the other million thoughts running thru my brain at any given time.