Feeling Validated

Thinking back to almost my entire adult life I think my hormones/thyroid must have been off (to some degree) the whole time. No doctor has ever taken the time to check. And me? Well, I mostly thought it was just me, and normal. I thought I was just a lazy person. I thought that the lack of desire/focus/motivation/drive was just me … a lazy me. And not really knowing better back then, I never pushed the issue.

I have tried to work with it, overcome it, hide it. I have been successful, but only in mostly small doses. “I don’t feel like doing anything” or "I'll do it later" has come from me way too many times. Way too many. Getting all excited about any number of my projects (loving the whole craft thing, but it's not limited to that) only to have them sit for sometimes years has left me with untold amounts of guilt.

And now, finally, I am getting solid answers? And it’s not all me? It’s not all just my fault & being lazy? What? No way! Yes way. The fact we can now work to fix this, has me both excited & nervous. Why nervous? Well, I have no idea what it will be like to want to do things all the time (or at least more often), for one. What it will be like to actually want to follow through on a project I start. What it will be like to want to go for a walk because I should, both for me & the dog (instead of wanting a nap). What it will feel like to just not feel so lazy all day long, day after day. Another small part of me worries that my blood work will come back normal. Then what? I really am lazy? I’m crazy with my symptoms? LOL Not likely, but it’s how my brain works. We’ll find out on Friday.

As these things begin to happen & answers come, I will try to keep up & share those feelings!